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too hard

 



I wanted to go out today, but I didn't go out. I am so free and I have no work, yet I struggle to enjoy my time. My head feels dizzy after I woke up this morning, maybe because I was dehydrated. I stared at my closet, then I gave up. I open my laptop and scrolled thru youtube and I did not watch anything. I ended up watching a video about procrastination, but I did not listen until the end. And now it's only 11:33 a.m.

Last night, I dreamt of R. It felt so weird. I felt the same way like when I saw him. But it's just a dream that makes me feel fucked up.

Yesterday night, I watched The Village. I fell in love with the soundtrack, and turned out Hilary Hahn was the violinist for the music. And today I stared at my violin, thinking I should open and play it, but I did nothing.

I wish everything weren't too hard.

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