It's been a month since I came here. I thought I wanted to go out this morning, but it feels so heavy. I do have something to buy, but I don't know why I don't want to go out. I just want to stay inside, not doing anything. Me in my 20s would laugh at me looking like this. During that time, I was rarely at home. I was always outside with friends, playing music, working, hang around with them. Sometimes, until midnight. The truth is, I want to go outside to see people, and maybe people will see me. Maybe I found the doctor as well. I still think about the doctor. I wrote something about us, too. I thought I wanted to explore and expand it to a whole novel, but I lack creativity to continue. It's just all in my head.