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Not even mad

I can't even top up my phone prepaid.

And I don't know if I could survive until next Friday with my money.

That's how broke I am right now.

I feel sad though. And mad, sometimes.

I'm feeling so down and I can't seem to keep up on being positive in this whole situation.

And no one can help me.

I don't know what is going to happen next.

I keep thinking what wrong I've done.

I keep blaming myself.

Japan seems so far away, yet I only have 12 days before departing.

I am not excited for it. And that is sad.

Because I've been dreaming my whole life to go there.

And I end up being like this.

And I have no one to listen to this.

My mom doesn't even want to talk to me.

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