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dear sahabat

I not a person who can be friends with anyone. I usually choose my friends.

I am friendly though, enough for simple chats with anyone. But I don't take anyone as friends whom I share my secrets with.

So that easily means my friends are the chosen one, and they have special place in my heart.

But the thing is, when I put them on pedestal, when I have high hopes and expectation from them, whenever I try to always be there for them, they seem to take it for... granted?

I know most of my friends have many other friends. And plenty of them only call or message me when they have noone or nowhere else to go.

Because I'm always available? Maybe that's the case. I don't say no to these kind of people.

Now I am so frustrated. And I end up having no close friends. At all.

I sound like a teenager now.

But I understand, I am not easy to be friends with. I am a complicated jerk who always has time and has her own mind and does not mind watching movies alone. I hate sharing my popcorn, anyway.

I want to go to Japan alone this February. I am not going to contact my 'friend' who is supposed to follow me.

I am done with her. So done.

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